Polyamory

To be or not to be???? I think everyone has such a different idea of what Polyamory actually means. Some think it means adding a third person to your existing relationship (the triad), some people think it means you and your partner are free to seek out other partners outside of your relationship (open marriage etc), some idiots think it give you license to nail anyone and everything....and most people just think we are all freaks/kinky whores.

Well let me just say that for those of you out there feeling ashamed or like something is wrong with you because you don't necessarily fit into the 'Monogamy' mold....You are not alone!

I am sure when you got married or entered into a commited relationship you probably were so 'in love' that the thought of being with someone else never crossed your mind. Now you are a few, maybe even 10, years into it and things sort went south in the SEX department (a little more vanilla and a little less spice). You miss that first kiss or the excitement of meeting someone new and staying up all night getting to know them, the passion, the romance....

And if you are still married or maintaining a commited relationship, the guilt can be overwhelming. And let's face it, most of us are not willing to tell our partner for fear of losing them. Obviously if you are in the relationship something lead you there, whether it be love, passion, common interests, whatever. For those of you willing to take that step and be open about your feelings with your partner, the fallout can be the worst possible in most cases. So unless you start your relationship being open and honest that monogamy just isnt for you, get ready to suffer the consequences. I have never in my life felt more guilt about any one thing then I do about hiding this from my husband. But there is no way on earth he would ever understand.

Someone asked me the other day, 'if your husband has no idea about this and it is such a big part of who you are, then he doesn't really know you at all?'. This got me thinking. I am a completely different person around my spouse. I have had many friends over the years point this out to me. I have conformed to the monogamist life style...I am a wife and a mother. Two very important things to me. But there is this huge part of my soul that just wants....NEEDS...more!

This is by far the most intense life change I could possibly imagine and a very long hard journey at that!

-Abi

Side note: I do not claim to be Poly, hell it's just a label. I sure as hell am not Ethically Poly! Maybe I am just a rat bitch cheating wife and the Poly label just makes me feel better about it???? Something to think about......